hole in my heart

          i cannot forgive
                  you
          i cannot forgive
                          myself.
          you tore a hole
              
          in my heart
          that will never
          heal.
          you tore the hole
          so big
          and gaping
               that i am falling through it,
             i am dangling on the edge
                               with no one to catch me.
          i loved
          love
          you
          with a love so deep
                 you could never understand.
          i now agonize
          without you
          with a pain and sorrow
                                                  so deep
                                  you will never understand or know.
          you chose to die
                      (or death chose you)
          and in so doing
                  chose my death too,
          only
          i live on
           to think about you
          every day
               and wonder       why ...
           to think about you
          every day
          and not forgive
                                      myself or you
                                                  for leaving me.
          i live on
                      in misery
          a piece of me
                  stolen.
             a piece of my heart
          now rests
                                      with you.